


Really? I Thought I was Imagining Things...

by minkybookworm



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash February
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:50:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5897071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minkybookworm/pseuds/minkybookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The way that Izzy's been acting has been confusing Clary (and kinda breaking her heart)<br/>One second Clary thinks that they're flirting the next minute Clary KNOWS that Izzy's flirting with the guy across the bar... </p><p>And it's getting harder and harder for Clary to act like everything's fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Really? I Thought I was Imagining Things...

**Author's Note:**

> The only things that I know about the Shadowhunter world is from the new TV show and the first book. So if I get anything wrong sorry, I'm just going off of what I know.

It really wasn't fair. 

 I didn't even realize that I wasn't straight until she met Isabelle... I mean I did think that some things that I thought weren't exactly " _normal"._ I never had any girl friends growing up. None of the girls seemed to really like me and I had Simon. I had nothing to compare my friendship with Izzy to. And then one day while we were hanging out and she was telling me about a Downworlder club, I just realized how much I really did care about her. It wasn't the way I cared about Simon. It was more like how I felt when the guy I had a crush on in third grade would ask me for help with the work for art class. I just wanted to do whatever I could to make his life easier. But as Isabelle talked about how the music there was incredible with that gorgeous smile on her face... I just knew that I would do whatever it took to keep that smile on her face. 

So when she came to me, saying that there was an  _amazing_ party going on that night. Holding onto my arms and with the huge smile on her face that spread across her face and made crinkles under her eyes appear. "Come on Clary! It will be fun and I'll even let you borrow some of my clothes so you'll fit in." Isabelle said as she squeezed my shoulders. 

I felt my breath hitch before I nodded stiffly. "Sure I'll go with you Izzy. But I'm not wearing anything that shows too much."  Someone would have to not have a heart in order to say no to that smile.

"Fine. I'll try to find a dress that covers enough." Isabelle replied as she rolled her eyes, the smile still on her face. "Just come to my room around 10-ish and we'll get ready together." 

I sighed and nodded before Jace and Alec walked towards us, explaining some information they got out of a demon. I tried to pay attention but I couldn't. 

Not while Izzy was holding onto my arm like that I couldn't. 

_It's something that all girls do. You've seen girls with their friends at school._

 

* * *

I had been in the club for probably half an hour and I was already regretting it. At first it was fun. Izzy and I were dancing with each other. The music and crowd seemed to swallow us up and I danced without really paying attention to anybody except for her. Isabelle smiled at me and I almost didn't notice how close we were as we danced. She had grabbed a hold of my wrist when she noticed that I almost tripped in her heels. "Careful clumsy." Izzy teased as she pulled me closer by holding onto my wrist. 

My heart was thundering in my chest and I gulped as I tried to act how I was before. Like the girl that I was head over heels for wasn't holding onto me. I glanced around the room as I took deep breaths in, hoping that my dancing was enough of a facade for Isabelle to not be suspicious about it. Or my surely red cheeks. 

When I finally felt as if it was safe to look back at Izzy she was already looking at me with a blank expression on her face. "Is everything alright Isabelle?" I mumbled, hoping that she heard me over the loud music. 

The shadowhunter blinked a couple of times before a smile spread across her face. "I'm fine." I stared at her with furrowed eyebrows as I noticed she glanced at my lips before she let go of me. I stayed dancing and stared at her. Izzy was halfheartedly dancing and she glanced around the nightclub. "Izzy!" I yelled over the music. 

Isabelle looked back at me, her eyes glancing up and down my body almost too fast for me to notice. "Are you sure you're fine?" I asked as I stopped dancing, gently touching her arm. 

She stared at me before she nodded with a smirk, glancing to something behind me. "Trust me. I'm perfectly fine now." 

"What are you-" I started as I turned to look at what she was looking at before I sighed to myself, realizing what she meant. Isabelle was staring at a guy at the bar of the club. He was probably somewhere around six feet, blonde hair that was messy enough to look like he didn't care without looking bad, and green eyes that put emerald to shame. I froze and bit my lip as I felt a mixture of jealousy and dread fix itself in my gut. How could I forget that Isabelle wasn't interested in me? She was interested in fit guys that she met. The guys that were confident, hard to get without being  _too_ hard to get. 

"I'll be right back." Isabelle whispered to me before she began to walk towards him. 

I sighed to myself and turned away from what had to be a flirty conversation going on between them. I bit my lip and tried to dance but I couldn't stop thinking about them kissing. Maybe her even going home with him. And Clary would have to sit through Isabelle talking about it the next day.  _Why couldn't I have fell for a girl that would even be a little bit interested in me?_

I gave up on dancing and walked to the bar. If dancing couldn't get her to think about something else, then maybe a drink would. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my fake ID in case they ended up carding. I waved my hand in order to try to get the bartender's attention for a few minutes before I groaned in frustration. "What's got you in such a bad mood?" Izzy asked as she walked up next to me, the side of her body pressing into mine. 

"What happened to blondie over there?" I asked, nodding my head to the blonde who was slightly glaring at Isabelle from across the room. 

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Boring. I would have preferred that he was a demon so there would be something remotely interesting about him." 

I laughed, more out of relief that what she said. "Anyways why are you so mad?" she asked. 

"It's nothing." I forced a smile onto my face. 

_If being incredibly jealous because of that guy you were flirting with when we're not even together is nothing... Then yeah it's nothing._

"Come on Clary. We've fought demons together. I've seen you get dressed. You don't have to keep secrets from me." Isabelle smiled. 

I gulped and glanced at the shadowhunter, she was staring at me sympathetically. She was one of my closest friends after everything that we had been through together. How do you tell you're best friend that you think that everything they do is amazing and you're falling for them? Is this how Simon felt when he confessed to me? I took a deep breath, the words already on my tongue before I felt my body freeze. "I'm just not feeling okay I guess." 

I can't tell her. 

"You're feeling sick and you're trying to get alcohol?" Izzy asks with raised eyebrows. 

I shrug and bite the inside of my cheek. "It was something I think I found on the internet. Seems pretty stupid thinking about it now." 

"Yeah it does." Isabelle teases with a smile on her face. "Let's go home. I don't want you puking on the dance floor." 

I nod and send her a weak smile as I let her take my wrist and drag me through the crowd and out of the club. 

_Is this something girls do for each other?_

_Maybe?_

_It doesn't matter._

* * *

When the conversations with her get harder for me, I pray to whatever is out there that she doesn't notice. I don't care that I've never thought about it. Or that Jace doesn't believe that whatever is there will help us. 

It will take something besides her to make everything easier for me. 

I force a smile onto my face and try to joke around when she talks about guys that she meets at parties. Because she seems happy, and I want that at least. I roll my eyes and pay attention to Jace and Alec when I feel like she's about to flirt with someone. I try my best to ignore the weight on my chest as she grabs a hold of my arm as we walk through the Institute towards her room. She's talking about a kill that she just got back from, while I was in my self pity in my room. 

"So he just walked right up to you? Didn't question it at all?" I ask as I sit down on her bed. 

Isabelle shrugs as she takes off the high heels she was wearing for it. "This one wasn't that bright. I'm glad it was easy though." 

"Yeah. Did you even get sleep last night?" I ask as she walks over and lays on her bed, already curling herself up into her sleep position, her back facing me. 

"Clary. If I ask you something will you answer honestly?" Izzy asks as she turns her body towards me, still laying down. 

I blink and stare at her. She looks uncharacteristically innocent and I can tell it's taking everything in her not to fall asleep. I guess she really didn't get any sleep last night. "Of course I will Izzy. What's up?" 

Isabelle takes a deep breath before she yawns. "Do you think I'm pretty?" 

Why is she asking me that? What does it matter that I think she's pretty?

I blink and feel my cheeks flush as I turn away from her. "Of course I do. Who doesn't?" I wait for any sound from her but after a moment I turn back and see that she's already falling asleep. "You're more than pretty." I whisper as I lean down and kiss her cheek before I grab a blanket and cover her with it. "You're beautiful Izzy. The most beautiful person I've met."

Maybe I do have a chance.

I let myself think about it for a moment before I shake the thought out of my head and walk out of her room.

She was just tired and was rambling.  

* * *

It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes as I watch Isabelle and Simon flirting. They're my closest friends and if they like each other I should want them to be happy. And I do want that. I want both of them to find the people that make them happier than they knew was possible... 

But I wanted to be that person for Isabelle. 

And even if I can't convince myself that I have a chance a part of me doesn't want to give anyone else a chance.  _Why don't I just confess already?_

I play with the take out on my plate with my fork as I glance at the pair across the table. Jace kicks my foot under the table and shoots me a confused look. It's not like me to be quiet like this. Or not eat. Or to be staring at Isabelle. 

Well the last one would depend on who you ask. 

I bite my lip and glance at them one more time before I sigh and push my plate away from me and stand up. I'm not going to stand in their way. "I'm not feeling good. I'm gonna go up to my room and go to bed. Night everyone." 

"You're still sick?" Isabelle asks. All of her attention on me as she gets ready to stand up and follow me to my room. 

"I'll be fine it's fine." I say too quickly for anyone to take me seriously. But either way no one follows me when I go to my room. I bit my lip and lay down on my bed as I take deep breaths in.  _Why did she have to be the girl that I fell for?_

I sighed to myself and shut the door behind me, collapsing onto my bed as soon as I stepped inside. It was nice and relaxing being away from Isabelle but also put a huge weight on my gut. I shut my eyes and focused on my breathing. A part of me thinking that her or Simon would probably end up coming into my room asking me what was wrong. They were usually the ones who came to ask me that. 

I bit my lip as I let my mind wander to my crush on the raven haired shadowhunter. I had never really had a major crush on anyone before. Let alone a flirtatious girl that confused me as to whether or not she was interested in me. I was sure at the club that she was flirting with me. I mean... Was it really normal for girls to pull each other closer while dancing? 

And then the next moment she was flirting with some blonde bozo across the club. I felt the jealousy rise up in my stomach as I thought about the man. I ran a hand through my hair and let out an angry sigh as I grabbed my sketchbook, quickly flipping to a blank page and letting my pencil glide across the paper. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was drawing. My mind focusing more on the feelings I was keeping bottled up for so long. Art had always calmed me down. 

"Clary? Are you sure you're alright?" Izzy asked as she slowly opened my door and poking her head in. 

My head snapped up at the sound and I froze. "Hey Isabelle. Yeah I'll be fine." 

"That's not what I asked." Isabelle responded as she leaned against my bedroom door. "Are you alright now?" 

I sighed and bit my lip, forcing my eyes to focus on my paper as I moved my pencil again. I didn't want to lose her as a friend in case she didn't feel the same way. From what Jace and Alec told me she wasn't the type to actually  _fall_ for people. There was a small line between love and lust and Isabelle rarely crossed it. I didn't want things to be awkward between us because I had fallen for her while she only thought of me as a close friend. I shook my head. "You don't have to worry about me Izzy." 

Isabelle sat down in front of me on the bed. "Something's wrong with you. Be honest with me Clary." 

I clenched my jaw and looked up from my page to look at Isabelle. Her eyes shined against her skin despite being as dark as they were. Her hair was down and cascaded around her face and everything that i saw just made my heart beat faster and feel heavier. I forced a smile on my face and hoped that the rest of my face didn't make it look awkward. I felt awkward. "It's not that big of a deal Izzy. Like I said you really don't have to worry about me." 

Isabelle sighed and sent me another sympathetic gaze. She put her hand on top of my knee and squeezed it as she sent me a sweet smile. "Promise me that if it does become a big deal that you'll tell me." 

"I promise." I mumbled, my words airy. 

Isabelle smiled at me for a moment before she stood up. "I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight Clary." 

"Goodnight Isabelle." I called to her before the door shut behind her. 

I really had to get this sorted out as soon as I could. 

* * *

 Isabelle crossed her arms as she walked to her room. Something was off with Clary. Isabelle didn't know what it was  _yet,_ but she could really tell that whatever it was had been messing with Clary. Isabelle had really thought that Clary would have told her what was bothering her by now. 

And now it was bothering Isabelle and she didn't even know what it was. 

Isabelle sighed and leaned against the door as she tried to come up with ideas of what was messing with her. It was still likely that she was still getting used to being a Shadowhunter. Or she was worried about her Mom. Or Valentine. Or- 

There were probably thousands of different things that could be bothering Clary. 

Isabelle sighed as she grabbed her pajamas. It was a huge blow to her to not be able to help one of her closest friends. Being there for Clary as a friend had been the only thing that had kept her from being completely in a bad mood because of what she couldn't tell Clary. 

It was probably better for both of them that way. At least that's what she told herself as she tried to list all of the reasons why. But it got worse for her every time she did it. 

* * *

 

"So this group of demons is just killing random people?" I asked Izzy as the four of us walked towards where the group was supposed to be. 

Isabelle nodded as she shrugged. "These ones aren't that bright. It should be pretty simple. Pretty boring."  

"At least it won't take that long." I replied with a smile. 

Isabelle was about to reply when a scream interrupted the usual city noises. I glanced at her before the entire group ran to where the noise was coming from. I held onto the seraph blade I got, Isabelle running a bit ahead of me. 

The group of demons had cornered a teenager that was now unconscious. It looked like there were four demons and they had turned towards us as soon as we ran into the alleyway. "Nephilim..." one of them hissed. 

"Oh did you not want to see us?" Jace teased. "That's rude you're breaking my heart." 

I rolled my eyes before the demons attacked us. I gulped and took a deep breath, already feeling the nerves in my stomach and sweat on my hands. I swung the blade at one of them, the blade hitting him but not killing him yet. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to try to throw me off balance. I cried out before I pushed my weapon towards him, the blade digging itself into his gut before it killed him. "Clary!" I heard Isabelle shout from behind me. 

I turned around to her, thinking that she was in trouble before I felt something hot pierce my back. I cried out and turned around so that I was facing him. I swung the blade at him, managing to get him to back away from me. The area that he had stabbed me in burned but I bit my lip to keep myself from wincing as I moved towards him. Isabelle ran over to me as soon as she finished off the demon she was fighting, flinging her whip to wrap around his leg, making the demon fall to the ground with a grunt. As soon as he fell I stabbed him, finally killing the demon. 

"Clary are you alright?" Isabelle asked after she checked to make sure all of the demons were taken care of. 

I slowly nodded and opened my mouth to say something before I began to feel lightheaded. "Clary?" Jace shouted and I could faintly see the rest of the group walking towards me through the white dots that were clouding my vision. 

"I-" I managed to choke out before I felt myself falling back and could faintly hear someone calling my name before my vision went black. 

* * *

I groaned and forced my eyes open as soreness I took in the pain from the last fight. I took in a deep breath and looked around the room that I was in. I was back in my room at the Institute. "Oh you're finally awake." I heard a voice from across the room. 

I forced myself to a sitting position, ignoring the pain shooting up and down my body. "What happened? I remember getting rid of the demons and then blacking out." 

"The demon stabbed you with some venom. It took a while for it to kick in and it made you black out. You really had me and everyone else worried." Isabelle said as she walked closer to me, sitting on my bed next to me. 

"How long was I out?" 

"A few days by now." she answered as I scooted closer to her. 

Despite being knocked out for days by now I was still tired. "Man. Did I miss anything big?" 

"No not really. We were mostly here because we were all worried about you." Isabelle answered with a small smile.

It was silent for a few moments before I furrowed my eyebrows. "Wait why were you in my room if I've been out for a few days?" 

Isabelle opened her mouth but shut it quickly, her gaze focusing on the sheets. "I said I was worried about you. So I stayed here waiting for when you would wake up." 

I bit my lip and took a deep breath. My heart was beating miles a minute and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if she was worried about me the way friends were or not. "Isabelle I..." 

Izzy turned her head towards me and raised her eyebrows. "It's about what you asked me about a few days ago. About what had been bothering me." I mumbled. My anxiety was rising and my heart was beating like a drum. "It's because I started having feelings for someone."

* * *

 

Isabelle's eyes widened and her breath hitched in her throat. Clary had feelings for someone? Isabelle knew that this would happen eventually but knowing something and it actually  _happening_ were two very different things. "Who is it?" Isabelle forced out, hoping that Clary didn't notice how much she wanted Clary's next words to be 'Psych!' or 'Just kidding!' 

"It's someone that we both know." Clary answered without actually answering, her gaze moving to the bed, away from Isabelle. 

Jace immediately popped into Isabelle's mind. She wasn't oblivious, she had seen the way that they glanced at each other. "Who is it?" Isabelle repeated, hoping that her voice wasn't shaking. She bit her lip as soon as she felt it quiver a bit. 

Clary glanced up from where she had been looking and took a deep breath. "Does it really matter Izzy? It's not like I'm gonna make a move and I don't think that they're interested in me." Clary shot Isabelle a small pathetic excuse for a smile before she took a deep breath again and went back to staring at the sheets.

"Anyone would be lucky if you were interested in them." Isabelle licked her lips. "He's an idiot if he doesn't like you back." 

Clary sighed and ran a hand through her hair, standing up from her bed, pacing around her room, choosing to ignore the dull pain shooting up and down her body. "Clary what's wro-" 

The redhead suddenly stopped and turned towards Isabelle who was still sitting on the bed, watching the girl move around intently. "What if you were wrong?" Clary asked, taking deep breaths. 

"I'm not wrong. You're amazing Clar-" 

'Not about that. You said 'he'. What if the person I liked was a 'she'?" Clary hesitantly asked, focused on Isabelle's face to gauge her reaction. 

Isabelle's eyes widened and she stood up. "Then I would hope that you at least fell for a girl as amazing as you." she forced a smile on her face as she tried to figure out what girl Clary wanted to be with. 

"If I told you who it was... Would it change our friendship?" Clary mumbled. 

Isabelle furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head. "Of course not. Why would it change our friendship?" 

"Okay... Then I guess I'll finally tell her my feelings." Clary said after taking a deep breath. 

Isabelle bit her lip. Clary was going to go up to some girl that Clary probably thought was amazing and was to the world to her. There was no stopping it now... 

The shadowhunter placed her hands on her shoulders and leaned down, quickly pressing her lips to Clary's. Clary let out a noise and tried to move her lips against Isabelle's the way Izzy's were moving. After a few moments Isabelle pulled away and both of them gasped for air. 

"What was that?" Clary asked after a few moments of silence, staring with wide eyes at Isabelle. 

The shadowhunter took a deep breath and shook her head. "I just had to do that once. Before you confessed and got a happily ever after with this girl you like. I still want to be friends with you Clary and I don't want this to make things awk-" 

"You're the girl." Clary interrupted. 

"What do you mean?" 

Clary rolled her eyes but had a playful smile on her face. "You're the girl I was going to confess to and wanted that happy ending with." 

Isabelle smiled at the redhead before she leaned down for another kiss. The two of them immediately relaxed, Isabelle holding onto her waist while Clary put her hands on Izzy's shoulders. Clary smiled into the kiss and the two of them forgot about everything else. 

"Hey Izzy dinner just showed u-" Alec stopped as he watched the two girls pull away from each other quickly. 

"Uhhh well the pizza's here so..." Alec stuttered as he awkwardly looked around the room. "If you guys are hungry you can come down... Glad you're awake Clary." 

"Thanks Alec." Clary mumbled as her cheeks burned awkwardly. 

Alec opened his mouth to say something before he sighed and turned around, shutting the door behind him. 

"Jace is gonna hear about this." Isabelle said with a smile. 

"And we're not gonna hear the end of it." Clary smiled. 

"Let's go ahead and face it then. And get some pizza because I'm starving." Isabelle said as she grabbed a hold of Clary's hand and the both of them walked out. 

Clary sighed with a bright smile on her face. 

That went better than she thought. 

 


End file.
